They can’t go to a gay bar because they know that gay men are

An Open Letter to Straight Guys

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buy canada goose jacket cheap But canada goose outlet it’s not just our divergence on the merits of professional wrestling that’s the problem. Have you ever been to a straight guy’s apartment? Unless you’re Schmidt on New Girl or George Clooney (who I imagine lives in a spotless harrier jet of constant sexual frenzy), straight men have the most disgusting bathrooms known to humankind. You have to brush away the pube debris just to see the mirror. I don’t want to brush my teeth in that furry claptrap, let alone make any semi permanent commitments to remind you to get a real shower curtain. When I come over, I’m just going to want to clean your house, get you new bedsheets (that don’t look like they came from a cheap motel) and buy you movies that don’t have Adam Sandler in them. buy canada goose jacket cheap

canada goose factory sale That sounds like too much work, and this isn’t Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. We just want to get our bone smoked and have a nice cuddle, not give you a life makeover. This isn’t 2003. The gays have come a long way. canada goose factory sale

Canada Goose sale Our girl friends tell us about you, straight dudes. We know what you’re like. Dating a hetero guy means agreeing to be their part time mother and under compensated maid, and gay men don’t need more mothers in our https://www.gooseyou.com life. One mother is enough, and we don’t want to become her, even if it would mean finally remembering to watch White Collar. That Matt Bomer sure is dreamy. Canada Goose sale

uk canada goose If we end up showering with you, we’re most likely not thinking about you. This might come as a surprise, but gay men don’t want to have sex with everyone we meet. Sometimes you’re not cute and sometimes you just have a shitty personality that gives us permanent whiskey dick. Even if you are attractive, put together, nice to your mother and you can pick out a tie that matches your shirt, we still don’t want you. New gays are coming out of the woodwork every day. During the writing of this article, five more gay people probably came out, including two more canada goose deals members of NSYNC (but never the ones you’d hope). We have a lot of options on the menu, and we don’t really need to order out if we know we’re just going to regret it anyway. We have more self respect than that. uk canada goose

canada goose uk black friday We love you, straight guys. We really do. Without straight men, we wouldn’t exist, and we do wish you well in all of your coital endeavors. But please, stop thinking about us thinking about you in the showers, because 14 percent of you think about us Canada Goose Jackets more than we ever think about you. We’re flattered that you’re so interested in us, but Canada Goose sale it’s never gonna happen and all the attention is getting kinda creepy canada goose uk black friday.